What To Do When Anxiety Feels Unbearable

By Sumedha Sharma, Clinical Psychologist & Founder – Manha Vidhi Mental Health Services

If you’re reading this, chances are anxiety doesn’t feel like a “word” anymore.It feels like pressure in the chest, a restless body, thoughts that won’t stop, or a fear you can’t fully explain.

So let me start by saying this clearly:👉 There is nothing wrong with you. What you’re experiencing is your nervous system asking for help—not control, not logic, but regulation.

Let’s walk through this together.

First, pause here for 10 seconds

Before reading further, try this:

Place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach.Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds.Hold for 2 seconds.Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds.

Do this twice.

(Yes, even if your mind says “this won’t help.” Just try.)

When anxiety feels unbearable, stop trying to “calm down”

This may surprise you—but forcing calm often worsens anxiety.

Why? Because anxiety is a protective response, not a defect. When you fight it, your brain hears danger.

Instead, try saying (silently or aloud):

“I know you’re here to protect me. I’m listening.”

This shift—from resistance to acknowledgment—often reduces intensity on its own. Check your body before your thoughts

Most people try to control anxiety by controlling thoughts. But anxiety begins in the body, not the mind.

Ask yourself:

• Am I clenching my jaw?

• Are my shoulders lifted?

• Is my breath shallow?

• Am I holding tension in my stomach?

Now gently soften one area. Just one.

Small physical releases send safety signals to the brain.

Use the “Name–Anchor–Redirect” method

This is a technique I often use in therapy.

1️⃣ Name it

Say:

“This is anxiety. Not danger.”

Naming activates the rational part of your brain.

2️⃣ Anchor

Look around and name:

• 3 things you can see

• 2 things you can feel physically

• 1 thing you can hear

This brings you back to the present moment.

3️⃣ Redirect

Ask yourself:

“What is the next small thing I can do?”

Not fix everything. Not solve life. Just the next doable step.

If anxiety feels unbearable, your nervous system may be overwhelmed

This often happens when:

• You’ve been emotionally strong for too long

• You suppress feelings to function

• You are burnt out, not weak

• You’ve experienced unresolved stress or trauma

Anxiety is often the body’s way of saying:

“I can’t carry this alone anymore.”

And that’s an important message—not a failure.

Please don’t minimize your anxiety because “others have it worse”

Pain is not a competition.

Your anxiety deserves care even if:

• You can still work

• You still smile

• You still function

• Others don’t see your struggle

High-functioning anxiety is still anxiety.

When should you seek professional help?

Consider reaching out if:

• Anxiety interferes with sleep, appetite, or daily life

• You feel constantly on edge or exhausted

• Panic symptoms appear suddenly or repeatedly

• You feel emotionally numb after intense anxiety

• You’re tired of “managing” and want to heal

Therapy is not about labeling you. It’s about understanding your patterns, regulating your nervous system, and restoring safety.

A gentle reminder from me to you

You are not broken. You are not weak. You are responding to life with the resources you currently have.

And with the right support, those resources can grow.

If you feel ready

At Manha Vidhi Mental Health Services, we work gently, ethically, and deeply—at your pace. Online and offline therapy sessions are available.

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse to ask for help. Sometimes, this feeling is the right time.

Sumedha Sharma, Clinical Psychologist & Founder – Manha Vidhi Mental Health Services

Reach out on manhavidhi@gmail.com

Instagram - @manhavidhimentalhealth